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My dad was waiting for us in baggage claim, standing amid all the limo drivers in suits holding signs printed with the last names of their passengers: JOHNSON, BARRINGTON, CARMICHAEL.

Read the fault in our stars online series#

Van Houten, I mean.вЂќ He drank the rest of his champagne in a quick series of gulps and soon fell asleep. вЂњIt was like it was personal,вЂќ Gus said quietly. Gus sat there, pumping his fist, waiting for the medicine to work, the medicine that did not kill the pain so much as distance him from it (and from me). I returned my seat-back tray to its upright and locked position and bent forward to dig pills out of his backpack. Later, he would describe it as a one-legged fat man wearing a stiletto heel standing on the middle of his chest.

I canвЂ™t believe he imagined a future for Sisyphus the Hamster but not for AnnaвЂ™s mom.вЂќДЄugustus shrugged. вЂњMaybe, but he didnвЂ™t have to be such a douche about it. вЂњYou know,вЂќ Gus said to me, вЂњeverything Van Houten said was true.вЂќ Dimmer stars than weвЂ™d had at Oranjee, but still good enough to drink. вЂњTo you,вЂќ I said, touching my cup to his. So she poured champagne into two plastic cups. The stewardess smiled, then glanced down at my sleeping mother.

I conspicuously rearranged the nubbins in my nose. вЂњYouвЂ™re twenty-one?вЂќ she asked dubiously. Do you worry about who will take care of you if your parents die? As well you should, because they will be worm food in the fullness of time.вЂќДЄ flight attendant walked through the aisle with a beverage cart, half whispering, вЂњDrinks? Drinks? Drinks? Drinks?вЂќ Gus leaned over me, raising his hand. You still secretly believe that there is an element of magic to this world? ItвЂ™s all just soulless molecules bouncing against each other randomly. You think volcanoes are awesome? Tell that to the ten thousand screaming corpses at Pompeii. вЂњHe specialized in the murder of dreams, Hazel Grace, let me tell you. Martinez told us that up in the clouds the wind blew one hundred and fifty miles an hour and the temperature was thirty below zero and there was no oxygen and weвЂ™d all die within seconds.вЂќ Martinez asked who among us had ever fantasized about living in the clouds, and everyone raised their hand. вЂњLike it would be like one of those inflatable moonwalk machines, except for always.вЂќ On the flight home, twenty thousand feet above clouds that were ten thousand feet above the ground, Gus said, вЂњI used to think it would be fun to live on a cloud.вЂќ вЂњWould it be absolutely ludicrous to try to make out?вЂќ вЂњAnd it is my privilege and my responsibility to ride all the way up with you,вЂќ I said. вЂњIвЂ™m on a roller coaster that only goes up,вЂќ he said. вЂњI think youвЂ™ve just got a touch of cancer.вЂќ I donвЂ™t suppose you can forget about it and treat me like IвЂ™m not dying.вЂќ He smiled with half his mouth, his nose inches from mine. вЂќ I couldnвЂ™t finish the sentence, didnвЂ™t know how to. While the mass of men went on leading thoroughly unexamined lives of monstrous consumption, Augustus Waters examined the collection of the Rijksmuseum from afar. Abraham Maslow, I present to you Augustus Waters, whose existential curiosity dwarfed that of his well-fed, well-loved, healthy brethren.